


TCR Blooper time!!!

by Number_Twelve



Category: Neko no Ongaeshi | The Cat Returns
Genre: (yes, Bloopers prompt, Gen, Have a nice time reading :), I posted this earlier than it was supposed to be posted on, I soent at least half an hour planning them out and another half an hour writing them, TCR Birthday BAsh 2020, but I really couldn't help it XD), hope you like 'em, lol, please enjoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:48:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24774157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Number_Twelve/pseuds/Number_Twelve
Summary: Bloopers inspired by The Cat Returns (written in script style). Enjoy!
Relationships: Baron Humbert von Gikkingen/Yoshioka Haru
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Catsafari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catsafari/gifts), [Casandravus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casandravus/gifts), [fanficcornerwriter19](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fanficcornerwriter19/gifts), [Katty177](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Katty177/gifts), [QueenHeadphones](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenHeadphones/gifts), [Rowena_Bensel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowena_Bensel/gifts).



> Gifted to:  
> Catsafari, Casandravus, Fanficcornerwriter19, Katty177, QueenHeadphones, Rowena_Bensel and all the other users I know on Discord, Tumblr and Ao3 thanks to all the inspiration I've gotten from all of you. I hope you guys enjoy the read (/^w^)/ \\(^w^\\) (/^w^)/ <-random emote I did for no particular reason XD

Baron: Haru, always believe in yourself. Do this and- um... you are making me feel unconfortable by putting that thing so close to me. *prods the mike, ears flattening*  
Everyone on set: *groans*  
Director: *facepalms* Let's move on to take number five.

XXXX

Muta: *falls out of catnip jelly jar**forgets his lines and chooses to improvise*  
Soldiers: *run to him with their weapons raised*

What was supposed to happen: Muta runs away from Soldiers. What actually happens: Soldiers run away from Muta. Here's how it goes.

Muta: *fur bristling* I am FULL of having to stand this! You will SUFFER my wrath!!! *grabs a chair and hurls it in direction of the Soldiers* *Some are lucky, some are not*  
Soldiers: *scatter as the chair reaches their unit. Two are not too lucky and they are sent flying back into another unit of soldiers*  
Director: *appears in scene, waving his hands* MUTA, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!  
Muta: *getting MOODY* What do ye think? Improvising!  
Director: And destroying the set and nearly killing the actors?!  
Soldier #1: WE ARE CATS, NOT PORCELAIN DOLLS!!!  
Director: AND?!  
Haru: Guys, let's not--  
Soldier #2: Ever heard that we cats have nine lives? It might not be effective in the Human world, but it is here!  
Director: SO?! Replacements are not easy to find!  
Muta: That is an insult to Cat-kind, you old-  
Haru: *the air around him seems to darken* STOP. THIS. IDIOCY. THIS. MOMENT. *silence* *cheerful* Gooood. How about the lot of you set your differences aside and we do this shot again, 'kay?  
Cat Servant: *whispering to Baron* Wow, that kid sure has fire. I wouldn't like to be on her bad side.  
Baron: No, you really wouldn't.

XXXX

Baron: *upset because they made a mannequin of him to design and make costume* This is unacceptable!  
Toto: *sarcastic* Yes.  
Baron: *gestures to the mannequin* I am UNIQUE! There is only one me! No body can change that, and very much less a plastic MANNEQUIN.  
Toto: Yes, Baron, you are absolutely right.  
Muta: *muttering* and hopefully it will stay that way.

XXXX

Cat King: NATORU!!!  
Natoru: Yes, your majestic majesty?  
Cat King: *holds out paws* *girlish accent* Time for my medi-pedi

XXXX

Toto: Wait a minute... you mean to say that the original Toto was a magpie?  
Muta: And instead we got stuck with you.

XXXX

Hiromi: I hear he has a girlfriend!  
Haru: Then why are you suggesting I flirt with him?!  
Hiromi: It's what the script says. *pulls out sunglasses, a cap and a paper saying 'thug life, bro' and poses for the camera*  
Haru: *facepalms*

XXXX

Lune: Don't get too close. Have I told you that I am claustrophobic?  
Natoru: What does that mean?  
Muta: Mean he's afraid of Santa Claus.  
Lune: What?!  
Toto: Ho ho ho!  
Natoru: Stop it! You are scaring him!

XXXX

Random cat: I think ve vill be able to entertain ze young lady.  
Cat King: Then go ahead.  
Random cat: *gestures for another five cats carrying a coffin and a radio*  
Haru: Hey, this was not part of the-  
Random cats: *do the coffin dance*  
A cat in the audience: Oh, the cats in the coffin might be the ones that His Majesty threw off the tower.  
Director: I WilL bE tHRowInG sOmEOne oFf tHE tOWeR If YoU DoN'T FolLoW thE ScrIPt!!!!

XXXX

*break from work* *Toto, Baron, Muta and Haru are playing scrabble*  
Muta: I put a C to make Ca.  
Toto: I place a T next to Ca to make CAT.  
Baron: I make the word Cataclysm. I win again.  
Haru: You have to be-  
Muta: *flips game board*

XXXX

Interviewer: So, how does it feel to be a bird?  
Toto: It's great! I get to see the world from a totally new perspective, I can fly...  
Muta: You eat worms, you poop on people and blame it on the pigeons...  
Toto: I do NOT do that!  
Muta: Or do you?  
Haru: *leans to speak with Interviewer* I suggest you leave while you can and come back later.

XXXX

Naoko: *goes downstairs to find her daughter up early on a weekend, wearing sunglasses, a cap and holding a paper saying 'thug life, bro'*


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MORE BLOOPERS!!!!  
> This time I actually looked up some memes (to be more specific *puts on sun glasses* Red Queen Memes, which are basically hilarious written memes). Anyways, I couldn't help it.  
> E.N.J.O.Y  
> PS: this sign (~) means it was inspired by an already existing script.

~  
Baron: *confrontinig the Cat King* So...  
Cat King: So *brandishes sword*  
Baron:  
Cat King:  
Cat King: I SAW HER FIRST, SO BACK OFF  
Baron: WELL-

XXXX

Director: Okay, everyone, I feel like we all deserve a well earned rest.  
Muta: "We"? You mean us. All you have been doing is sit around and shouting at us to follow the script.  
Director: *strained smile* One of this days, I might 'accidently' shave off all your hair.

XXXX  
~  
Cat King: Haru, you truly are a good for nothing.  
Haru: Seriously, I've been called worse.  
Cat King: Oh reeeeeally?  
Haru: Yep.  
Cat King: Like what?  
Haru: Your future wife.

XXXX

Baron & Haru: *dancing to Katzen Blut*  
Baron: *does a sudden turn*  
Haru: *yelps and trips over her excessive skirts*  
Director: CUT! Really, I said the dress didn't have to be that big and difficult to move in!

XXXX  
~  
Muta: I can't believe you and Haru broke the bed.  
Toto: The two of you must have gone wild.  
Haru: *exchanging a look with Baron* Haha, yeah...  
[the night before...]  
Haru: I bet you can't jump high enough to touch the ceiling.

XXXX

Canteen supervisor: Guys, someone has been stealing food from the canteen.  
Muta: *halfway through eating a cheese roll* Oh really?

XXXX

Mysterious voice: Haruuuu, you must get to the- *begins to cough violently*  
Haru: Are you alright?  
Voice: Yeah *cough* I just *cough* had to spit *cough* out a hairball.  
Haru: So... you are a cat?  
Voice: *nervously* I could also be an owl...

XXXX  
~  
Haru: Baron, could you please pour me some more tea?  
Baron: Haru, I love you, specially your legs, so please use them to pour yoirself some tea.  
Haru: Baron, I have been kidnapped, I nearly married a cat- twice- and I nearly fell to my death off a tower.  
Baron:  
Haru:  
Baron: Do you want it with milk or lemon?

XXXX

Muta: You are telling me that Birdbrain here has to drop me ten feet above the ground and the cats are not going to catch me?  
Director: That's what the screen writers decided. Deal with it.  
Toto: Ohhhh, this is going to be fun.

XXXX  
~  
Baron: There will be moments where you will have a chance to do the right thing.  
Cat King: Oh, yes, I love those moments. I like to wave them goodbye when they pass by.

XXXX

*playing scrabble again*  
Baron: Muta, do you promisse not to flip the board again?  
Muta: Yeah, yeah.  
[a few minutes later]  
Muta: *chucks pieces at Toto and hurls the board at him*  
Haru: (/T^T)/  
Baron: He never learns.

XXXX

Yuki: So... in the original book... I was...?  
Director: Yes, I know it's a lot to take in but-  
Yuki: What?! No! That's so freaking awesome! I bet I got to see angels and stuff!  
Director: *turns away and facepalms* 

XXXX

*playing truth or dare*  
Toto: Baron, truth or dare?  
Baron: Dare.  
Toto: I dare you to hide all cakes from Muta.  
Muta:  
Baron:  
Haru:  
Muta: *jumps up and tries to catch Toto*  
Baron: *tries to stop them from tearing each other apart*  
Haru: Children. I live with children.

XXXX  
~  
Cat King: *hiding in bush* Pssssst, Haru!  
Haru: What are you doing here?!  
Cat King: I am your conscience  
Haru:  
Cat King:  
Haru:  
Cat King: The Cat King is H.O.T  
Haru: Baron? I am being stalked by a stalker!

XXXX  
~  
Lune: Father, you need to get a hobby.  
Cat King: I already have a hobby.  
Yuki: Kidnapping innocent girls and making them your bride is not a hobby, your majesty.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you guys liked these! :) Perhaps I might make a part two, who knows!


End file.
